Steve Darn - ELT
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ELT: Grammatical Blues

Something funny happened just the other day
I couldn’t find the right words to say
The only words coming out of my mouth were
Prepositions, nouns and adjectives

Not a verb, not a pronoun or infinitive
No adverb, conjunction or definitive
Couldn’t make a sentence or a paragraph
Just prepositions, nouns and adjectives

Went to the doctor on a Wednesday eve
Said 'hey doctor won't you help me please?'
I got these words kinda stuck in my mind
All prepositions, nouns and adjectives

Doc said 'son I gotta give you bad news
You got a case of grammatical blues
The only cure for you's an overdose
of prepositions, nouns and adjectives'

I got grammatical blues
My feet are crawlin' way out of my shoes
I'm so confused I can't tell the difference
Between prepositions, nouns and adjectives

Went to the shrink and I said 'hey doc
I think I'm developing a mental block
I'm readin' a book and all I can see is
prepositions nouns and adjectives'

I took a week off school 'cos I was losing my mind
Then I went to see the boss and what did I find?
He said 'here's the new book we're gonna use
It's called Prepositions, Nouns and Adjectives'

first published January 1999 in 'Familiar Reading Passages for Vocabulary Enrichment', Rüstem Seven, 9th September University, Izmir